Mary-Margaret Martinez

Coffee Breakers Unite!

 Thank you – but I must decline the invitation to your Tea Party.  Because I have my own organization.  We’re called the Coffee Breakers, and we have some bones to pick.

 We Coffee Breakers do not believe that the United States is a Christian country.  We, like our Founding Fathers, believe firmly in freedom of religion.  So Coffee Breakers won’t exclude you if you’re Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or Quaker or Buddhist or Voodoo-ist or Catholic or Zoroastrian or Seventh Day Adventist or Yezidi or Wiccan or Agnostic or Atheist or Fill-in-the-Blank.

 We also won’t discriminate against you for being any particular color, or if you are different or differently abled or gay or straight or lesbian or transgendered or bisexual or artistic or omnisexual or confused or exhausted or Mexican or experimenting or a union member or queer or weird or smart. 

 We are Pro Life!  Who the hell isn’t Pro Life?  Living people are obviously Pro Life.  I suppose there used to be people who were Anti Life, but they have probably all killed themselves by now.  But we are more than just Pro Life.  We are Anti Suffering!  We don’t just want to protect un-born babies.  We want to ensure that babies are not born into despair.  We are anti cruelty, and we care about all living things.  We want to protect old people and poor people and disabled people and soldiers and citizens and slaves and Afghanis and Iraqis and animals and birds and fish and plants and bugs and ecosystems and oceans and forests and planets and galaxies and blades of grass and molecules of air.  We are not interested in legislating a specific morality, but rather we are interested in always trying to do better.  And we can always do better.

 For us Coffee Breakers, it is more important to live comfortable lives than to amass great wealth.  And it is impossible for us to live comfortable lives while our fellow inhabitants of this planet are in misery.  Therefore, we happily donate to charities and pay our taxes and help others whenever we can and support government programs that improve the quality of life for all earthlings.

 We know that human beings are walking talking breathing miracles.  The fact that we can put one foot in front of the other is incredible.  The fact that we can formulate thoughts and take actions to improve ourselves and our world is nothing short of miraculous, and we appreciate that.  Therefore, we try not to be assholes.  We try always to be kind and accepting, inclusive and supportive.  We know that we are stronger together than we are apart.  We know that a nation divided against itself cannot stand. 

 As of this printing, the Coffee Breakers have only one official member.  But maybe you’ll join me.  Because Coffee is a lot stronger than Tea.

Be A Coffee Breaker Too!

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